An interesting theory occurred to me this afternoon. I was doing dishes, flipping through the channels on the satellite and Jerry Maguire was on. This is a film that I’ve noticed a majority of the women I have spoken to about have not particularly enjoyed. And I wondered… Why don’t women like Jerry Maguire?

Let us take the Renee Zellweger component out of the equation for the moment. Many women claim to not like her or find her annoying but were okay with her in that movie where she pretended to be British? All I know is I saw her making out with Jim Carrey leaned up against a motorcycle after getting hammered on tequila in a bar in Santa Barbara once. And then, later that night, ate a MAGNUM MILLENIUM BURRITO®. But that’s another story… for another time…

Anyways… My point is I would like to think we can all just accept that she is quite average and played her role in Jerry Maguire at least averagely.

That leaves us with Tom Cruise - and he, my dear friends, is the nucleus of my theory. There was a generation of women – my mother’s generation – that will always remember Tom Cruise as a “sex symbol”. The young guy dancing around in his underwear to Bob Seger, the cool wild child in Top Gun or .. Cocktail .. or whatever? I don’t know. You can ask your own mom – or my mom for that matter – about it yourself… This is just my theory and I’m not going to put any more work into this than I have to. Okay.. So let’s just accept that as a fact.

But then.. The next generation – and consequent generations really now – have grown up with Tom Cruise as that creepy, short, freaky, Scientologist guy who married the chick from Dawson’s Creek and jumped up and down on Oprah’s couch. Which is pretty much where he is for most people nowadays. So this is where my theory starts – perhaps women have a hard time watching Tom Cruise in a romantic comedy or romantic role nowadays because he’s that creepy old dude. Sure – he’s okay running around in an action movie like the Mission: Impossible series but none of that romantic stuff. Not anymore.

The best parallel I could find, in terms of career, is clearly Michael Jackson. There are a few generations now who grew up – almost exclusively – with Michael Jackson as the alleged child molester, creepy guy living in a castle with the Elephant Man and a chimp and a mini-Disneyland and wore a mask and held his child off a roof or something, etc. and not Michael Jackson as easily the most influential and most recognizable musical entertainer in the world for a good stretch of years.

Well that about wraps it up. There’s my parallel between Tom Cruise and Michael Jackson and my theory of why women dislike Jerry Maguire.